My teenaged son and stepdaughter-to-be had sex. A year into dating, we left them alone while we went out to dinner. (We don’t live together.) My son later came clean. Her dad flipped. It took him months to even speak to my son again, and the grudge is going to stay. He’ll be cordial to my son, but they’ll never be close, despite my son’s deep regret and attempts at repair. Is this ship too far sunk for me to consider marrying him? Could you or would you marry someone who doesn’t deeply love your kids? (For what it’s worth, it was my son’s first time. My fiancé believes his daughter instigated it, but still believes my son’s responsible for not stopping it.)


Brill B:  Not to sound harsh, but your son did you a favor. Your fiancé believes HIS daughter instigated it but is holding your son fully responsible? There’s too much to unpack there , and none of it good. On the bright side, while this has torpedoed your happily ever after, two young people now have an escapade that they’ll be dining out on for years to come.

Tulani B: First, I have read so many “Step-Brother” romance novels with this precise premise. So, so many! If you hit the Amazon Kindle site and search “step-brother” romances, you’ll feel a lot better.  But seriously, do not marry this man. Not unless you’d like me to start writing a “true life” version of this tale. It’s not a knock on your son, but your fiancé’s level of hostility and unwillingness to reconcile, along with the shaming is a terrible foundation for a union. 

I’ve been perimenopausal for 5 years now and have all the joys that come with that, including one that puzzles me the most: I call it “Hot Crotch.” This happens as randomly as my period. My groin starts to sweat profusely — through my cotton panties, through my clothing. I’ve been to two doctors and gotten no help whatsoever; they say it’s my age. Yeah, thanks so much. Can you wise women help me??

– Anonymous

Nina C: Have you looked into Botox? It’s apparently used now to treat extreme underarm sweating, so it seems to me (not a doctor!) that you might be able to use it for your vajajay too? Ouch!

Tulani B: Sweaty cooter is no good. It’s uncomfortable, awkward and not something anyone would want to deal with for sure.  Cotton panties…check. Doctor…check. Still misty/swampy/miserable. 

I’m wondering if an endocrinologist couldn’t be of assistance? There also might be a good reason to meet with a certified nutritionist. Something is out of balance. I’d keep pursuing an answer, just short of traveling to a foreign country and seeking out Dr. Strange.  And please share your findings, as I suspect you’re very much not alone!

Hillary R: Two words: Panty liners. I sweat like an old hippie in an ayahuasca tent with the slightest exertion. Part of me loves it, as I feel like toxins are flowing out instead of in for a change. But it can be a little much when you have to function in the real world. So load up on a good deodorant, wear layers, including a tank so they can be removed at all times and get thee some panty liners. And let the sweat beads fly!

Sherry BThe only thing that comes to mind is putting Depends in the freezer & wearing that…

Need Advice?

Our team of wise, witty, and uber-experienced WWVWD moderators each give their own special spin in answering your most intimate questions. To submit an anonymous question, follow the link in the pinned post of our Facebook group.

Meet the Mods


Tulani B.

Professional Manager, Mother, Negotiator…purveyor of sardonic optimism with a love for gifs and great conversation.


Brill B.

Extremely judgmental and has no problem telling people what they’re doing wrong.

nina feature

Nina C.


Hillary R.

A recovering lawyer who has an opinion about almost everything.  And she’s usually right.

Sherry B.

Newest Mod, devoted mom, 30-year veteran of Corporate America. Favorite quote “they’re not all gems.”

The Woolfer
Woolfers, all women over 40, share a certain sensibility — a sense of humor, an appreciation of art and culture and literature, a desire to be candid, kind, self-reflective, and thoughtful — while also coming from a wide range of backgrounds and perspectives.