Do you believe it is possible to be truly in love with two people simultaneously? As in madly, can’t live without, the idea of either one not in my life makes me feel buried alive?


Brill B:  Sure. Life can be messy. But just because life serves up two cakes, when you only ordered one, doesn’t mean you get to eat both. Choose one. Enjoy it. Let the other one go. If you’re still thinking about the second cake, you chose wrong.

Hillary R: Hmmm. Impossible? Maybe not. But, highly unlikely. You can love two people at once (or three or four if you have that kind of energy), but to be truly, fully, madly IN love with two people seems improbable. Maybe you are infatuated with both of them. Maybe in lust. Who knows? Just enjoy it for as long as it is enjoyable. Eventually one or both of them will irritate the fuck out of you and then your dilemma will be resolved. Enjoy!!

Two kids home from college. I miss them terribly when they’re away from me, and now that they’re here, my house feels overrun–and I find myself counting the days until they head off again. I’m agitated whichever way I slice my bread and I feel guilty about that! Am I doomed?

– Anonymous

Nina CYou and me both, sister.

Kara HThese feelings are perfectly natural and part of the push-pull of the process of adulting children leaving the nest. I distinctly remember the flip side of this process – wanting to be back in the comfortable loving cocoon of my parents’ home, but feeling resentful because I wasn’t a child any longer and their strictures no longer really fit my burgeoning independence. This is a time of great relationship transition for you and for them, and if you can find a way to embrace the flow, rather than focusing on the frustrations, it will make it easier. (Though obviously those frustrations won’t disappear).

Need Advice?

Our team of wise, witty, and uber-experienced WWVWD moderators give their own special spin in answering your most intimate questions. To submit an anonymous question, follow the link in the pinned post of our Facebook group.

Meet the Mods

Hillary R.

A recovering lawyer who has an opinion about almost everything.  And she’s usually right.


Brill B.

Extremely judgmental and has no problem telling people what they’re doing wrong.

nina feature

Nina C.


Kara 1

Kara H.

The brains behind the scenes, she balances edge with empathy. And appreciates a really good jumpsuit.

The Woolfer
Woolfers, all women over 40, share a certain sensibility — a sense of humor, an appreciation of art and culture and literature, a desire to be candid, kind, self-reflective, and thoughtful — while also coming from a wide range of backgrounds and perspectives.